- [!] Status - status-updated:: completed 2021-10-29 I'm super grateful that neither my parents never pressured me about getting married or having kids -- if anything, I think they were surprised when I got married and had a baby. It's definitely[a real phenomenon, though](https://twitter.com/andreagrimes/status/1453769988716834819?t=YpvCxQ56DyEizgUGBxTHIA&s=19), and I can pretty easily imagine why someone might run off and enlist in a military organization in order to escape a life they can't bear. History is filled with stories of spinsters and bachelors, maiden aunts and acetic kings. - [?] Are there any good examples of this? If so, that would make good #articleseed/addendum Years ago, before I met my husband, I went on a date with a guy who argued that the reason stories like Achilles -- where the life of a warrior is glorified over that of the life of a happy family man -- are important is because societies need to incentivize people to fight to protect the state. This has always struck me as a dumb argument -- so much so that I once wrote an entire screed about why Hawkeye (by all accounts an involved and dedicated father) is the best Avenger. I wrote the article before Thanos killed his family, but the point is that I think culturally we have _plenty_ of stories of the glorification of war. Folklore and myths about _good_ dads would make a pleasant change. But I guess from Bergi's perspective, most of his life is filled with role models about marriage and parenthood. Healthy marriages are probably not very lonely, and storytelling is in a lot of ways about helping people navigate hard situations -- not happy ones. Sometimes I wonder if the recent trend in American cinema toward more examples of "hero dads" staying in touch with their kids and trying to be good parents is because our society is one of the few that needs a roadmap for good parenting. It feels plausible that the recent trend toward men who want to be more involved in their children's lives has led to an increase in creative works that offer examples of how to do so. In a similar way to how we're starting to see more movies about "action moms" trying to balance their domestic obligations with the sort of exciting, adventure-filled careers that When I went to see the new Bond movie (which I cannot recommend even though I adore Daniel Craig; you could drive a truck thru the plot holes in the ending) there was a preview for a spy movie with an all-female cast. It's called The 355, which I'm told is a reference to Agent 355, one of the only verifiably female spies in action during the American Revolution. Her identity is still unknown, which I think is a pretty good hallmark of having been a successful spy -- although some people seem convinced that she didn't exist as an individual person and was instead a portmanteau of various women who may have helped out the Culper Ring network of spies on an "informal" basis. Bah. Historically I'm a sucker for remakes of classic movies with gender-flipped casts. I didn't think the new Ghostbusters was Oscar-worthy or anything, but I don't usually like movies that win Oscars and it certainly wasn't any worse than the original Ghostbusters. I similarly enjoyed Ocean's 9. So I'm definitely going to show up for The 355. I teared up during the preview when the various women called their children while "on the job" -- at least in part because men in action films are allowed to do the same, now. But the fact is that the life of a _professional_ soldier is, like that of a sailor, often filled with travel away from home. Which is one of the reasons Bergi is so enthusiastic about embracing it.